Personal / I still am not a lot wiser but I'm getting there, albeit really slow.

Inspired by various people’s posts, I’ve decided to do mine as well. Let’s backtrack first: during my mid-twenties I kinda accepted that well, I’m old now…that I’m not as young as before (duh!). That sometimes I have back pains in the worst days. That I have to suck it up and face the day. That I have bills to pay so I need to withhold buying things I want. Those stuff.

When I actually and officially turned 30 last year, it was in simple word, uneventful. It was a far cry when I turned 20! I was throwing tantrums because I wasn’t a teen anymore! I just finished my thesis. I was applying for internships. I was scared of my future. Scared of being a  full-pledge adult. And to top my teen worries then was my folks sorta forgotten my birthday (as time went by I got used to it). And I was pouring my guts to a livejournal entry (which it still exists *cringes*) about that day. It was embarrassing to say the least.

So thirties isn’t bad. I mean, it felt like I was already in my 30s by the time I hit my late twenties. I think it’s just another year in my life. In retrospect, comparing the teen me who transitioned to adult me, and the me now turning to…grandma adulter well, there’s a lot of things to reflect and to thank for! But let me enumerate the 30 things I’ve realized when I turned 30.

1. I’m not too old. I’m not old for my hobbies and stuff that I like/love when I was younger. I shouldn’t entertain opinions of what should I do! If it pleases me and makes me happy! Why not?! It’s my life, right?
2. But I still feel too old. Yes, I’m contradicting myself here, but thirties is well thirty! You’re not in calendar anymore & lots of your friends, acquaintances and former classmates have families of their own and you’re still single AF! Guess, things happen for a reason.
3. It’s not too late. There are so many things to do and the freedom to try is there! Thirty is plenty young!
4. Letting myself feel young. Thankfully I don’t look older than my early twenties (it’s in our genes, we’re kind young looking people). Whatever it is that makes me feel young I shouldn’t feel guilty of embracing it!
5. Sometimes I have to turn off the ‘adult’ version of myself. Sometimes I still enjoy morning cartoons or fave snacks (in moderation now). Sometimes young perspective makes me feel like myself!
6. I still don’t know what to do with my life. Should I stick to education? Should I follow my passion in designs? Or should I at least try the Psychology field again before completely giving it up…those thoughts rummage me 24/7.
7. I still love studying. I read not only for entertainment but also to learn. I thought before I’m too old to learn another language, here I am learning two at once!
8. I don’t grow out from my old hobbies, it just develops and transition into something new, keeping up with the times.
9. I now get tired easily. Very easily. I can’t run as fast as before. I’m always sleepy! PMS just become bitcher! Fine signs that yep, I’m not young anymore.
10. Still I do things in moderation despite my body can’t keep up like before.
11. I still want cakes for my birthday…or even not on my birthday. Ice cream cakes are the greatest invention since slice bread!!!
12. Sometimes it’s OK to have a juvenile opinion…just because.
13.  I learn to care more for my skin…sign of aging? Last check no fine lines yet! I hydrate myself a lot although I lack enough sleep so *sobs*
14. Sometimes I am not proud to tell them my age…although I’ve always have that smug look when people guessed it wrong!
15. I’m still naïve on things…what the heck is a fidget spinner?
16. I can’t keep up with the ‘young’ talk! I call teens, kids, and someone told me like, it’s not like I’m older, like kid I am, I am! Everyday it feels like I am!
17. I still haven’t met the love of my life…or…sometimes you think you miss the chance but whateves, let’s not talk about it.
18. I had and will have more regrets! Like a friend told me, don’t think of it as wrong, you just based your decision on what is best for that situation. It made sense to me!
19. I thought when I’m adult I can buy things I want…until I realize bills will always come first.
20. Sometimes I still want my mom to be there when I’m sick…actually, just anybody because damn I feel like dying!
21. I become health conscious…but eff that I need to finish what I’m reading! What is sleep?
22. No seriously, I care for my health more…and in true fashion of a total hypochondriac like myself, I panic for all the little pains I have.
23. I still cried over that damn anime about a dog dying! Don’t harm the animals!
24. I still love my favorite childhood shows. In short, nostalgia hit your hard in the gut and always reminded you how simple life back then!
25. I realized that your favorite characters are still young and I’m the only who gets old. Touya (Card Captor Sakura) was 16 then while I was 14 when I started watching the show! I was only 1 year older when I started watching Hunter X Hunter, I think I’m older than Hisoka. FML
26. I hate political talks but the irony is I have to care because our lives depends on it. Those trash? Yeah, they have the power to screw things up for everyone.
27. It’s OK not to have bucket list. I want things to happen as it goes!
28. I still write on my diary! Because life happens and you have to jot them down!
29. Daydreaming is fine! Sometimes life gets hard and the things I want are still in the fluffy form of my imagination. But let that become a motivation to make it come true!
30. I’m successful in my own way. I should celebrate every milestone in my life. I indulge myself with some delicious milk tea! Buying some bungeobbang like Zen! Little things make up the grand things in my life! Don’t disregard those happy little moments!