Ever since I started blogging the reason is always about me. The reason why I started. The reason why I still love it. The reason why I keep on blogging. The reason I make time…etc., etcetera. Yes, it’s all about me and I’m not even sure if it’s good or bad thing to heavily focus my blogging on me. But at the end of the day my enjoyment weighs so much in this hobby that it’s the sole reason why I am still here, word vomiting for all the interwebs to witness!
Now with my blogging changed direction I’ve decided to make this solemn as possible. I’m sure there is still someone reading my blog despite my decision to remain hush-hush with all the move and changes happened a little while ago. I decided to find comfort in blogging in solitude and you know what, it eases the burden on me. I guess the reason why my blog has stayed this long (and still here! ) is because all I deemed toxic to my blogger’s mental health I removed them. I stop caring about them. And for that I have been more enthusiastic.
I’m not gonna lie when it was still a book blog there was a period in my blogging life that I wish I was more…not popular per se, but kinda out there? And this only because of advance copies—selected advance copies. There were times that I love to read the book/s ASAP that I requested, got rejected because I didn’t have enough following. I was super dejected! But I moved on, I realized I get to read them eventually so why I was fussing so much. I cared so much about my content, too. There was a time that I was told that my blog turned so different—with it I lost chockfull of followers. It dawn me that I created this space because of something I liked. I need to stop putting their ideas in my head. It wasn’t healthy to me anymore. Yes, normally I care less of what people say but I pondered those thoughts, still…it weighed somehow. And that was the signal that I should really need to let go. Time to refresh!
I guess I now treat this munchkin (aka my blog) as my personal online diary. Sure, that my posts heavily concentrated on my interests rather than my life (I have my offline diary for that!) but it always about the freedom to talk about what I love! It’s the reason why I blog in the first place, I nearly forgot about it (OK, not really more like got sidetracked). So numbers though didn’t bother me that heavily before is now completely out of my blogging system! I love blogging in solitude—whether it’s just me or just one reader I should be thankful already. I think I prefer this way. So much freedom, less conflict, less pressure—more fun! At least to me blogging in solitude has made a huge difference! Like, HUGE!!!