Title: If I Die
Author: Rachel Vincent
Series: (Soul Screamers #5)
Published: September 27th 2011 by Harlequin

This is probably the hardest review to write ever. I’m still taking everything in. Yes, as in everything in this book is made of deliciously well plotted scenes, undeniably awesome characters *coughs* Tod *coughs* and heart stopping revelation that still shocked me until now. After I read it, I have this strong urge to reread it immediately, that’s how addicting it is. Once is definitely not enough to relish this book’s awesomeness. And before I start gushing like a mad fangirl, I have to get this one out! TOD, I LOVE YOU!!!!

*clears throat* Ok, let’s begin the show.

This fifth installment of the soul screamer series is a game changer indeed. And just like everyone else, I’m eagerly anticipating for the next one. Because this book? It blew me away. I can’t believe that Ms. Vincent did it. And I must say she did it triumphantly. I have a vague idea of what will happen (I think I “like” all reviews in GR already). But what I love about her writing is it’s just no way to predict it, unless you read it yourself. Because if there’s one thing I really commend about her story is its unpredictability. She’s not afraid to explore every possibility, like she did here. My heart did some erratic beats due to excitement and nervousness of what about to happen. I think I held my breath for a few seconds before I regained my normal breathing when I finally found out what happened to my favorite character. Glad I have a strong respiratory system. (I’ll give you a clue: his name starts with a T, ends with a D and have O in the middle. Any guess?)

Now for part two, more (vague) details.

Surprisingly, I’m not mad at Nash. If not, I actually kinda pity him. He’s not a bad guy. Sure, he did some mistakes from the past that eventually the reason why he is in this sorry state. But he’s a guy, he’s a teenager, he’s a human, er, bean sidhe, I think even with his specie, mistake follows him. Everyone does. So from now on I’m not gonna hold the frost incident against him anymore. And I truly wish he’ll get back in the game. But for the record, I’m a Tod fan (a solid Tod fan), and so my loyalty (especially his love life) lies with him.

Ah, well, before I forget, I think I’m warming up with Sabine. After the stunt she pulled here, I can see her character a little clearer. I don’t hate her now. There’s an incident in this book that made me realized that. She’s still isn’t my favorite, but she’s not part of my hate list now. And that’s definitely a good sign.

About Kaylee? So you read the summary, she’s gonna die, right? Weeeell, I’m not gonna tell you what happened (got you there! Huh! Like I’m gonna spoil you). I suggest you get a copy and read it. The only way to fully grasp what happened to her is to know it yourself. After you read it, you’ll thank me that I didn’t spoil you. I guarantee!

Now for the last part. The Tod part.

*drum rolls please*

Holy freaking molly, and I thought it’s not possible to fall in love with this guy again. But I am wrong. Damn wrong. I think I fell in love with him all over again. He’s just… just… awesome in every proportion. I LOVE everything about him. The pizza, the sarcasm, the blond curls, soft blond curls, and the hospital coffee. Everything. Just everything.

This is weird; I think they already told you every nice thing Tod had done for Kaylee. And we swooned. Yep, I’m part of that crowd. But you know what, that made me realized one thing that made him just an almost perfect knight in shining armor. Tod will do anything—as in anything. Regardless if he sacrifices someone, even if the said sacrifice is evil. Morally unacceptable, what’d you think? But did I like him less knowing that? NO. This proved that he isn’t flawless. But even with that I still love him. Like I said I love everything about him, even the nasty ones.

*a somewhat spoilery part*

Tod and Kaylee is been a long time coming. Five books in the making, four books to build up and one explosive realization. WOW! I admit, I’m rooting them since book three (yeah, just book three, I applauded people who saw the potential of these two from the very beginning. Very keen instincts guys! Bravo!) It’s like a dream come true for me. I’m happy that they finally found each other in the right place. I have nothing against Nash (I told you I’m rooting them only on book three). Because I liked Nash for Kaylee (at least back then) but in retrospect, I felt Nash/Kaylee’s relationship was somewhat ideal, it’s too perfect. That’s why when the frost came, it soiled it, and eventually ruined it. As long as trust is still an issue for them, their relationship wouldn’t work.

What I liked about Tod and Kaylee, it has depth. There’s a foundation in there. A solid one. They knew each other. And they’re still trying to get to know more about each other. The good and the bad ones. Secrets and truths. Fears and happiness. They both need each other. It wasn’t forced, it was there and ready to grow (gosh, I’m sounding like poet, but it’s so true).

Ok, I said enough. I might babble endlessly. But you guys gotta read this! If you enjoyed the first four books and just like me love Tod in the most addicting way, then you’ll love this book! It’s awesome all in one package!