I haven’t been diagnosed yet (I will soon) but I know I have anxiety disorder. It got so bad that I was rushed to ER before because I was in the verge of fainting. It felt as if my body will shut down any minute. My heart was beating so fast and because of it I got more nervous hence my GERD acted up, too. It was the worst day (and it was New Year’s Day to boot, after our midnight dinner I was rushed to the hospital). Sometimes when I was in the middle of something I got agitated and super nervous. I’ve realized that I wallowed too much in these negative thoughts so often. It didn’t help that I wasn’t in good place at that time. Everything felt hopeless back then.
So I’ve decided to make time. I have happy hours everyday where I spend some fun things like hobby, and it’s always uplifting!
I’ve decided to turn things up. Me being in my thirties is a huge wake up call! I’ve decided to take care of myself. Aside from my physical health (which I’m more than satisfied now that I gained my ideal weight!!) I delved in to making myself happy even in the smallest things. I think it is important to make yourself happy without guilt and without judgement. It is important to value ourselves. It’s not being selfish, we need to love ourselves. And at this day and age we easily forget about that. Taking care of myself means giving some “me time“—to relax, to take my mind off, and maybe do things that can me smile or laugh. I find joy in the littlest things now. I appreciate that I have happy hours I spend for myself.
What are these things that me make happy? Reading, Dining (alone), Designs & Journals, and of course Blogging!
So what do I do? One, I read!! There’s not a day I don’t read. One chapter? Two chapters? 50 chapters? It doesn’t matter as long as I read a day. It takes my mind off, it kept my insomnia at bay; when I enjoy something I feel so full. Maybe I live vicariously through the characters I read, and that’s very fine with me. Reading the bible everyday reminds me that God is there with me all the way!
“Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
I also eat out—alone! I said it before that I now love being my own company it’s quiet, economical. I disregarded that idea that people were watching me, that eating alone was pitiful! It is not! Sometimes you have to date yourself! And I do that once or twice a month! I splurge on my fave snacks for a party of one! It’s nice!
I love doing my skin care routine! I used to hate looking at my reflection because of how ugly I felt because of my breakouts! I still do have it but I’m not as hopeless as before. I love taking care of myself more.
I dabble on my creative side now. Like I said before, I fell in love with writing my journal! I love doing layouts for my journal. I am also trying to make digital illustration. It’s an epic fail as of the moment but I’m trying!! The process and eventually evolution excites me. I used to do web design as creative outlet but I do that as a profession now, but sometimes I tinker & lately I’m doing design concepts for my online projects!! It excites me!
And of course, blogging. I love my blog! I said so many things on how & why I love it. It’s part of my self-care routine. This is my outlet. I channel all my love for reading and other things. Like right now, I muster some courage to write these things about making me happy. It’s nothing glamorous but they definitely keep me occupied and happy. We have to make time to take care of ourselves. Remember self-care is important!