So…I did not like this book.
I didn’t know that this book is written in prose/verse (I’m not sure actually what it is). And it kinda hindered me to fully understand the flow of the story. It felt to me like someone grab the remote control from me, then press the fast forward button, then play, then fast forward again. From now, then flashbacks, to thoughts, and then dialogues. It was confusing.
The way London handled her brother’s dead was…awful. I do understand why she was like that but at the same time I don’t since it was completely different from what I would do—from what the other characters from other books of the same situation did. She didn’t even help, not even tried to help herself to move on; she lamented all the time. I was waiting for the healing, for the moving on. But I didn’t get that. The boys who I thought will help her with the process made it more complicated instead. She was jumping from Jesse to Taylor, even wishing that she could kiss both of them (at once) I did try to understand her, how her attraction with these guys somehow eases the pain. I remember The Sky Is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson, and I thought that this one was like that. I know why she was torn between the two guys; it helps with the grief, the loss. But it wasn’t like that. Not at all.
Her family—her mom and dad were obviously on the same page as she was. Broken, hurting. Her mother was completely mad at her, while her dad is sort of nonchalant but distant. I’m sad (the way the story went, not because I have emotional connection with the book because I really don’t have) that there’s no one who could help this family. I hope it shows (even for a bit) on how their family was, before this tragedy happened. So I could understand why they were behaving like that. I know that death particularly of suicide is harder to accept because that person chose to take his own life. They were all consumed by grief. But they didn’t even try to fix themselves. I didn’t get the chance to see them ok. It was utterly sad.
Instead of starting to live again, fixing up those broken pieces it felt to me like it was shattered into a thousand tiny shards. Like there’s no way out. Throughout the story their problem was piling, and piling. And I don’t even see the reason why Taylor, or Jesse had to be there in the first place. Didn’t her mother and London patch things up? I don’t know, I lost it. I’m not interested anymore. I just wanted it to end. I wish I know though how they will use the knowledge that her brother had a daughter, and how that will lead them to being whole again. But it was up to the readers to conclude.
I’m really sorry, but I really didn’t like it. 🙁